Undara Read online

  ‘Come on, I’ll show you around.’ Travis led her to the side of the first building and reached beneath the steps to locate the magnetised tin that held the keys. ‘This is the main building. You’ll find the refrigerators and the stoves in the back room, and there’s office space in the front. I think you’ll also find a land line in there, if you need it. As far as I know, it’s still connected.’

  ‘And the others?’ She gestured to the five smaller dongas.

  ‘The sleeping quarters.’ He gave a short laugh as she took the keys from him. ‘Don’t know why they bothered locking them when they left. No one ever comes out this way. I suppose it keeps the kangaroos, snakes and bats out.’

  ‘Thank you. I’m sure it will be fine.’

  ‘Are the others far behind you?’ He looked back at the road; there was no sign of dust from any other vehicles. ‘You’ll need a bit of a working bee to get it clean enough to stay in.’

  ‘They’ll be here soon.’ Her voice was cold.

  Travis narrowed his eyes and held out his hand for the keys. ‘You can’t stay here by yourself.’

  ‘Oh, and why would that be?’ She put the keys in her pocket and folded her arms.

  As she lifted her head and stared at him with eyebrows raised, he noticed the fine tracing of silver scars on the left side of her forehead. When she became aware of him looking, she lowered her head until her hair fell forwards again.

  ‘Because it’s not safe,’ he said.

  ‘The bats and the kangaroos? Believe me, Mr Carlyle, I’ve worked in much more dangerous environments than this.’

  ‘I don’t mean here. I mean in the caves.’

  She lifted her head and held his gaze. ‘I won’t be going into the caves until the rest of the team arrive. I’ll be getting the set-up here ready and taking delivery of provisions from Mt Surprise. And I believe we’ve signed an agreement that absolves you of responsibility for any accidents that may occur on your station, so you have no need to worry about me.’

  ‘I’m not worried. I don’t want you here and I’m not responsible for you, but if anything happens I’m the one who’s going to be called out to help. And I don’t have the time with the wet about to hit.’

  Nature supported him as the first drops splashed the tin roof above.

  ‘Don’t worry. Your help won’t be required.’

  Travis stared at her. ‘So how many days exactly until they get here?’

  ‘When I find out I’ll make sure I let you now. They’re leaving Brisbane tomorrow.’ The raised eyebrows pushed him into not giving in, even though he didn’t give two hoots about what was happening here.

  She lifted her head and held eye contact with him. ‘I believe there is mobile phone service, and you’ve agreed to let us log into your satellite internet connection.’

  ‘That’s right.’

  ‘Then thank you, Mr Carlyle. I’m sure you want to get back before the rain gets heavier.’

  She was dismissive, and Travis fought the need to have the last word. With a terse nod, he walked across to his motorbike and rode off without a backwards glance.

  There was no doubt about it. Emlyn Rees was as cold as ice. But she and the rest of the university bods were the least of his worries, and the money that the university had deposited would stave off foreclosure for at least the next three months.

  CHAPTER

  2

  Emlyn threw her backpack onto the single bed. She’d claimed the donga with the tiny bathroom that was furthest from the main building. She travelled light, and it didn’t take long to unpack the essentials and put her toiletries on the single shelf in the tiny bathroom. As she went to zip up her pack, her fingers brushed the small box that held her jewellery. Unable to help herself, she flicked up the lid and stared at her wedding ring. The nurse had taken it off her finger in the hospital before the first operation and Emlyn had seen that as a sign. Even when she was recovering, she’d not put it back on again. She stared down at the narrow gold band for a moment before shaking her head and snapping the box shut.

  Emlyn stared through the window at the land surrounding the cabins. The glass was filthy—like the cabins—yet it softened the view of the harsh landscape surrounding the small buildings. Flat savannah grasslands burned off by the dry heat of the summer sun stretched as far as she could see. The rain had delivered only a few drops and the sky had lightened. The dark, oppressive clouds became a sheet of steel grey stretching to the horizon, trapping the relentless heat above the land.

  A few stumpy trees were scattered along the road that wound between the buildings, shading the camp site, and she made a note to check that the air conditioners in each of the cabins were working. It was going to get unbearably hot here over the rest of the summer. Even though the buildings were neglected and filthy, everything she’d tried so far had worked.

  And there was nothing that a good scrub wouldn’t fix. Emlyn had bought some basic cleaning products after she’d picked up the Troop Carrier. The thought of losing herself in preparing the rooms for the arrival of the rest of the team lifted her spirits; cleaning during the day and reading through the academic papers about the Undara caves at night would give her focus for a couple of days.

  Apparently, the rain and the following green season were late arriving this year, and despite being early summer, the landscape still held the grim bleakness of the dry of winter. Emlyn embraced it; invisibility was one benefit of submerging herself in a new world. No one knew her, and no one knew her past. Even though she had only been here an hour, the isolation was a balm to her soul, and already she felt safe.

  It had been a while since she had been out in the field and this was the first time they’d had buildings to stay in. The nature of their research usually meant they camped in swags, with a large tent for their cooking and socialising at the end of the day. She hadn’t been out in the field for a year, since—

  Clenching her hands together, Emlyn swallowed and forced her mind back to the camp site in her immediate vision. She looked at the main building where the team would spend most of the time when they weren’t in the caves; a high window had been left open and it was in the worst condition, but scrubbing the bat guano off the benchtops could wait until tomorrow.

  Her headache was coming back; she’d forgotten about it as she’d dealt with the sullen property owner. It didn’t bode well for the physical work she would be doing when the team arrived; this was the first time she would work in caves in a year and she wasn’t sure how she was going to cope underground. Returning to the vehicle, she carried the two eskies she’d purchased and filled with food in Townsville to the mess area. The water from the melted ice sloshed as she set them down on the floor. She’d bought enough to keep her going until the grocery delivery arrived.

  Her phone vibrated in her jeans pocket and Emlyn jumped. It would be David and he’d keep trying until she finally picked up. Apart from her team of work colleagues, he was the only one who had this number. Her colleagues would be relaxing in Brisbane before they headed north. None of the team knew that she’d come up to the site today, and she didn’t have a social relationship with any of them, so no one would be calling to wish her a happy new year. Emlyn hadn’t forgotten the family traditions of a hot summer holiday, but she blocked the memories as the phone kept vibrating. Still, images of cricket in the backyard after a baked dinner cooked in the dripping heat of a Brisbane summer, and plum pudding doused in hot custard, flickered through her mind like the jerky frames of a slow-motion movie. She’d spent Christmas Day packing for the trip and trying to forget about anything family-related, so why did she have to think about it now?

  Because of David. Right now, he saw that as saving their marriage, but this time, he hadn’t been able to persuade her to come around to his way of thinking. It wasn’t that he was a bad person, or that he didn’t love her. It was New Year’s Eve, and in her ex-husband’s mind he would be doing the right thing.

  She pulled out the phone and stared at t
he screen, trying to swallow the lump that had lodged in her throat, blinking as her eyes stung with the prickling of unshed tears.

  Lots of laughter. Lots of love. But those days were long gone; happiness didn’t last, and life was fragile.

  There was no point in trying to recreate everything she’d lost. Her family was all gone now, so there was nothing to celebrate. Emlyn was prepared to take full responsibility for the destruction of their lives; it was all her fault. It was easier than resurrecting a marriage that had no chance of surviving. She took a deep breath and pressed the ‘answer’ button before she lifted the phone to her ear.

  ‘Hello … David.’

  ‘Hello.’ His voice was wary. ‘How … how are you, Em?’

  ‘I’m very well, thank you.’ The following silence was ripe with his unspoken frustration as he trod the minefield of what was left of their relationship. She knew him so well; he’d be worried she’d end the call if he said too much.

  For the first time in her almost thirty years, Emlyn was unable to cope with what life had thrown at her, and as she’d learned to shut down she’d become a different person. It didn’t matter what anyone else wanted, or what they said, or what was the right thing to do—she no longer cared. Over the past few months, if anything overwhelmed her, she would remove herself from the situation.

  Including a phone call from her husband—soon to be ex-husband—if need be.

  ‘I’d like to come and see you this afternoon,’ David said.

  Oh God, how she hated the bleakness in his voice. Once upon a time back in the fairytale land of being in love, David’s voice had been light and carefree. Always full of happiness. His handsome face had been unlined, free of worry, and the only expression that had been in his eyes was his love for her. Those hazel-green eyes once had the ability to melt her with a simple wink. The grief began to build in her stomach and made its way up into her throat until Emlyn fought the need to gag.

  She bent and held her stomach with her free hand as she struggled against the clenching of her digestive muscles, dragging in a silent, deep breath.

  ‘Are you still there, Em?’

  ‘Why did you call me, David?’ Her voice was cold, but at least she’d managed to get the words out. ‘And no, you can’t visit.’

  ‘It’s the first time we haven’t been together to bring in the new year since we met.’

  Silence.

  ‘Can I come over after dinner? Please? I won’t stay long. I promise.’

  ‘It’s impossible, David.’ If she let him back into her life, it would only hurt him even more. Listening to her once-strong husband begging her for a morsel of attention was hard enough to deal with. It had been eight weeks since he’d last come to visit her and she hadn’t been able to stand the pity in his expression as he’d looked at her.

  ‘Impossible?’ His wariness was replaced with a tinge of anger and her finger hovered over the ‘disconnect’ button. Anger was better than begging. Anger she could deal with. She straightened, and her voice built in confidence as she looked through the dirty window. ‘Yes. Impossible. I’m away.’ Three kangaroos hopped across the dry savannah grass and the raw emotion that had her by the throat receded enough that she could finally swallow. She moistened her lips with her tongue, but the metallic taste filled her mouth.

  ‘Away? Where? You didn’t say you were taking a holiday.’

  ‘I have a new contract and I’ve left Brisbane. I suppose you still have the right to know that.’ Emlyn closed her eyes and waited. The air that she managed to drag in filled her lungs, and she focused on breathing in and out.

  ‘Of course I have a bloody right to know that. I’m still your husband, no matter how much you try to push me away.’

  David would be running his hand through his black curls.

  ‘David, we’ve separated, and we’re getting a divorce. You have no rights to me anymore.’ The words came straight from a cold, dead heart. ‘I know it hurts you, but it’s better for both of us this way. It’s time for you to move on, too.’ She squared her shoulders and rubbed her finger on the grime on the inside of the window, and jumped when it gave a sharp squeak.

  ‘No, it’s not. Remember, you gave me a year, Emlyn. It’s not up yet. And I’m not giving up. Where are you?’

  ‘I’m in North Queensland. A research trip.’

  ‘You’re at work? Is there anyone else there with you? It’s fucking New Year’s Eve.’

  ‘David …’

  ‘Bloody hell. How long before you come home?’

  I’m never coming home, David. Not to you, anyway.

  She lifted her forefinger and stared at it, her attention on the red dust that had transferred from the glass to her skin. She could be cruel to herself, but David didn’t deserve any more than she’d already burdened him with.

  ‘Who’s with you?’ After the accident, she was sure the hospital had told him to put her on a self-harm watch. She’d moved further away from him as he’d watched her closely. Ringing her constantly and calling in to her university office on the silliest pretexts—she’d seen through him; she’d soon learned not to ignore the calls because David would turn up on her doorstep—the same fearful look on his face—until she told him enough was enough.

  ‘I’m by myself.’ Emlyn held her left hand up to the light and stared at the white mark where her wedding ring had created a slight indent on her ring finger. Detachment didn’t hurt. It would take time, but in the end, he would eventually accept what was best.

  ‘Emlyn.’ The anger was still in his tone despite the concerned words. ‘Are you still seeing the counsellor?’

  ‘Happy new year, David.’ Emlyn disconnected the call and turned off the phone.

  How long would it be before David realised she was doing him a favour? How long before he would accept that and leave her alone? Leave her alone to try to resurrect some sort of life. How much longer did she have to push him away before he realised the only way they could continue to live was apart?

  It didn’t matter if she loved him. It was the future she couldn’t give him.

  * * *

  Emlyn picked up a bottle of bleach and poured it on the stainless-steel workbench. The new skin at the top of her arm pulled as she stretched across with the scouring pad. The second lot of surgery had lessened the pulling of her skin, and if she wore a long-sleeved shirt with a collar, she kidded herself that the scars were barely noticeable. They didn’t bother her; it was others who seemed to be ill at ease. Not Travis Carlyle. He’d seen her scars, but he hadn’t looked away when she’d stared back at him. Not like most people usually did.

  Being alone didn’t bother her. If she could have it her way, she would have preferred to carry out the research alone. Once she’d wiped down the benches, Emlyn pulled out her phone and reluctantly turned it back on. Surprisingly, there was a missed call and a text from John Kearns, the professor who was bringing the team from Brisbane tomorrow morning. They were travelling together in a van with a trailer.

  We’ll drive in shifts, Emlyn, and should be there within forty-eight hours. Depends on road conditions. We’ve got all the equipment. The photographer will be driving another van from Townsville and we’ll meet him there and come up the range. When do you arrive?

  Her fingers flew over the letters on the phone. See you soon. Travel safe.

  With a determined grimace, Emlyn put the phone away and opened the refrigerators. They’d cooled down since she’d plugged them into the power points, but both were lined with mould. The eskies were no longer cold, so she unpacked the food onto the black-stained shelves in the small refrigerator. First job tomorrow would be to scrub them out, and then contact the grocery store at Mt Surprise.

  A couple of hours later, Emlyn walked outside. She’d given in and taken a couple of paracetamol tablets instead of eating dinner, and her headache had eased. Once the sun had gone down behind the Newcastle Ranges in the west, the intense heat of the day had gone, and the humidity was bearable.
/>   Emlyn looked up at the sky; the stars out here were incredible, and she held her breath as she gazed at the glowing pinpricks of life that formed a solid band of light from east to west. It soothed her and put everything in perspective. As a speck of microcosmic dust, her life was insignificant, her existence miniscule, so there was no point giving in to her emotions. She swallowed as she thought of the next three months. The night was still and quiet apart from the occasional baying of a beast in the distance and the sporadic croak of a frog.

  Would she make a resolution for the new year? It had been a tradition ever since she had married David. At midnight each year after they had shared a kiss, they would link their little fingers, look at the sky and silently make their resolutions. The deal was to keep them private until the first person broke theirs. It was always David because he made pledges that were impossible to keep. Emlyn had never broken hers because they were structured and planned.

  No wonder our marriage failed.

  Maybe she could vow to be happy next year?

  She shook her head. Too soon. It wasn’t in her yet. Maybe it never would be. A huge aching chasm opened up in her, and for a second she wished she could be gone. Up in the heavens, where her grief couldn’t define every living moment.

  Emlyn lifted her face to the sky and let the cool wind brush her cheeks. The moon was rising, and the fat yellow orb hovered over the hill to the east, bathing it in an eerie light. She yawned and went back inside. It was almost midnight.

  Tomorrow was a new day and she would look ahead. There was no place in her life for the past.

  * * *